she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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