I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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