I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We have started to decorate penises.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
