By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
