i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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