between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
