96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
