I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
