She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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