You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
that's an acceptable place to lick
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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