I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
