Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
