i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
