I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize