NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
