Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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