But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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