Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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