Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
