dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The best revenge is premature balding
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
