made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
