uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
