Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize