I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize