We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize