You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
