I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
