Me too!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
