is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He called his prostate his "boner button".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
