I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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