She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
