i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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