do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
