Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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