Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
they need to just BURY HIM!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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