If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
