nutella sex= disaster
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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