The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
they need to just BURY HIM!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
