Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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