he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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