That's intense
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
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my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
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Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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