you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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