is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
