i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize