Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
