Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I currently don't understand fingers.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
