it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I would fuck him just for his dog
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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