drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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