i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
