He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
