Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
