My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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