thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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