i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
