You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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