finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
