So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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