and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
