I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize