Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Randomize
