am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
