it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The dick lei will go down in squad history
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
