Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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